You are waiting for what you needed that never came. Rescue that did not arrive, recognition that was not given, repair that never happenedâresponses that should have occurred but did not. Your waiting is hope that time will somehow give you what was denied, that if you just wait long enough someone will finally see, understand, make it right. But what you are waiting for is past. It cannot come because the moment for it has ended. Only you remain, waiting for history to change.
The waiting feels necessary because letting go of hope means accepting that what you needed will never be provided. You wait for parents to become capable of love, for justice to finally arrive, for the past to be repaired by present revelation. You wait, and wait, and waitâbecause stopping means facing that some losses are permanent, some damage unrepaired, some absence forever.
Living in waiting means postponing your life while hoping for redemption that cannot come, organizing your present around a past that will not change.
Ending the wait means accepting that what you needed is gone, then turning toward what you can still provide yourself. Not the same thing, but something you give rather than wait to receive. You become the one you were waiting for.
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Content informed by trauma research, polyvagal theory (Stephen Porges), somatic experiencing (Peter Levine), and nervous system regulation studies. For comprehensive citations and further reading, see Unfiltered Wisdom: The Book.
About the Author
Robert Greene is the author and founder of Unfiltered Wisdom, a US Navy veteran, and a trauma survivor with over 10 years of experience in nervous system regulation and somatic healing. He is certified in Yoga for Meditation from the Yogic School of Mystic Arts (Dharamsala, India, 2016) and affiliated with Holistic Veterans, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit serving veterans in Santa Cruz, California.