Fearing forgiveness means holding anger that keeps you safe, refusing to let go because letting go feels like saying the harm was okay. You are afraid that forgiving means opening yourself to being hurt again, that releasing the rage leaves you vulnerable.
Living unable to forgive means carrying anger that poisons you, staying connected to those who hurt you through unprocessed rage.
True forgiveness means releasing the hold they have on you, not absolving them. You forgive by moving on, not by saying it was okay.
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Content informed by trauma research, polyvagal theory (Stephen Porges), somatic experiencing (Peter Levine), and nervous system regulation studies. For comprehensive citations and further reading, see Unfiltered Wisdom: The Book.
About the Author
Robert Greene is the author and founder of Unfiltered Wisdom, a US Navy veteran, and a trauma survivor with over 10 years of experience in nervous system regulation and somatic healing. He is certified in Yoga for Meditation from the Yogic School of Mystic Arts (Dharamsala, India, 2016) and affiliated with Holistic Veterans, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit serving veterans in Santa Cruz, California.