🆘 If you're in crisis, help is available: Call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) • Text 741741 (Crisis Text Line) • Call 911 for emergencies

How Do I Stop Attracting Toxic People

Understanding the patterns behind this experience

← All Questions

How Do I Stop Attracting Toxic People

Short Answer

It feels like being trapped in a car with no brakes. You can start by stand up and take three deep breaths, feeling the tension drain from your body with each exhale..

What This Means

It feels like being trapped in a car with no brakes. Your heart races, your gut freezes, and your jaw clenches as you try to escape the toxic environment.

Why This Happens

Your nervous system is hardwired to protect you from threats, real or perceived. Toxic people are seen as constant threats, triggering your fight-or-flight response, keeping you in a state of high alert.

What Can Help

  • Try right now: Stand up and take three deep breaths, feeling the tension drain from your body with each exhale.
  • Squish yourself into a tight hug, imagining a warm, safe cocoon around you.
  • Find a quiet space and shake off any negative energy by stomping your feet on the ground.
  • Move your body in any way that feels liberating, like jumping jacks or running in place.
  • Visualize a bright light shining on you, dispelling any negative thoughts or feelings.

When to Seek Support

When you feel overwhelmed and unable to handle it on your own, it's time to reach out for support from friends, family, or local resources.

Ready to Reset Your Nervous System?

If this resonates, you don't have to figure this out alone. The Nervous System Reset program provides structured guidance for completing your stress cycle and finding calm.

Start Your Nervous System Reset →

Research References

This content is grounded in scientific research on trauma and nervous system regulation:

  • Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.
  • Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. W. W. Norton.
  • Felitti, V. J., et al. (1998). "Relationship of childhood abuse and household dysfunction to many of the leading causes of death in adults." American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 14(4), 245-258. (ACE Study)
  • Levine, P. (2010). In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness. North Atlantic Books.

Note: This content is educational and for informational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health care.

Robert Greene

About the Author

Robert Greene is the author and founder of Unfiltered Wisdom, a US Navy veteran, and a trauma survivor with over 10 years of experience in nervous system regulation and somatic healing. He is certified in Yoga for Meditation from the Yogic School of Mystic Arts (Dharamsala, India, 2016) and affiliated with Holistic Veterans, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit serving veterans in Santa Cruz, California.

Start Your Nervous System Reset →