How Do I Know What My Values Are?

How Do I Know What My Values Are?

Short Answer

Your values are the principles that guide your life decisions. To identify them, reflect on what matters most to you, considering your past experiences, including any traumas, and how they've shaped your current beliefs. Start by asking yourself what you stand for and what you won't compromise on.

What This Means

Identifying your personal values is a deeply personal process that involves introspection and self-awareness. It means uncovering what is truly important to you, beyond external expectations or influences. For individuals who have experienced trauma, this process can be particularly poignant as it may involve reconciling pre-trauma values with post-trauma realities, leading to a more authentic, healing-aligned sense of self.

Why This Happens

Traumatic experiences can significantly impact one's value system, either by reinforcing existing values or prompting a shift away from previous beliefs. This shift occurs because trauma can fundamentally change one's worldview, sense of safety, and trust in oneself and others. As a result, re-evaluating and re-defining personal values becomes a crucial aspect of the healing journey, allowing individuals to regain a sense of control and purpose.

What Can Help

• Solution: Mindful Journaling: To explore your thoughts and feelings in a safe, reflective space.
• Solution: Values-Based Exercises: Utilize specific worksheets or online tools designed to guide you through the process of identifying core values.
• Solution: Therapeutic Conversations: Engage with a trauma-informed therapist who can provide a supportive, non-judgmental environment to explore your values.
• Solution: Self-Compassion Practices: Cultivate kindness towards yourself throughout the discovery process, acknowledging the complexity of your emotions and experiences.
• Solution: Reflecting on Role Models: Identify individuals (past or present) who embody values you aspire to, and analyze what specifically resonates with you about their values.

When to Seek Support

Consider seeking professional help from a trauma-informed therapist if the process of exploring your values triggers overwhelming emotional responses, if you're struggling to reconcile past and present values due to traumatic experiences, or if you find it challenging to initiate or continue the self-reflection process on your own.

People Also Ask

• How Can Trauma Affect My Sense of Self and Values?
• What if My Trauma Makes It Hard to Trust My Own Values?
• Can Rediscovering My Values Help in the Healing Process from Trauma?

Research References

Primary Research:
• Van der Kolk (2014)
• Shaw et al. (2014)
• Felitti et al. (1998)

Foundational Authorities:
• APA - Trauma
• NIMH - PTSD
• Psychology Today - Trauma

Robert Greene

Author, Founder, Navy Veteran & Trauma Survivor

Robert Greene is a writer and strategist focused on human behavior, relationships, and personal responsibility in a world that often rewards avoidance over truth. His work cuts through surface-level advice to explore the deeper patterns driving how people think, connect, and self-sabotage. Drawing from lived experience, global travel, and a background that blends creativity with systems thinking, Robert challenges conventional narratives around mental health, modern relationships, and personal growth. His perspective does not aim to comfort; it aims to create awareness. Because awareness is where real change begins. Through his work on Unfiltered Wisdom, Robert is building a question-driven knowledge library designed to confront blind spots, reframe assumptions, and bring people back into alignment with reality through awareness.